someplace old

it was nice to be back in gainesville again. it has been a bit of time since my last visit. maybe i’ve just been too busy or maybe just not ready for that mix of emotions of being back there again. i loved living in that town. any night of the week i could just make anywhere between one or two phonecalls and suddenly eat dinner with 10 of my friends. i could stay up until 2 and not have to even think about what i had to wake up for the next day. now when i visit, i have sense of loss, both for no longer living and for the faces that i no longer see when i’m there. faces that have moved to texas, north carolina, and to various places in between. i will never have those nights of poker back again. i will never have those trips to Firpo’s at 3am back again. i will never have the blair witch house back again. maybe one day i can return to tell my kids (if i have any) about some of the crazy things that happened, such as sitting in a kiddy pool my last day of class in my front yard, drinking beers and listening to the “Pina Colada” song over and over as the public bus drove by repeatedly. good times. with the absence of old friends come new friends and faces. some had been there the whole time that i just had never really noticed or gotten to know. i am thankful for these moments and new friends for they help make something that has lost much familiarity to feel all-too-familiar again. i am now a “man” and will never again have those days of college back… the days when the future is completely open and responsibilities are few and far between. i had never known nostalgia, not until i truly lived. now nostalgia just sometimes haunts me and reminds me where i’ve been.